My Deviant Art | The Dr.Foo's Hands | Vince Feratu
marionisamuffin:

pleasantandcain:

fromladytolifter:

candidlycara:

dance-in-the-shadows:

gracediamondsfear:

wifeyknowsbest:

whatapreciouslittlefuckfox:


A sense of humor can make everything better. Sex isn’t like it is in the movies or in porn. There will be strange and weird and awkward sounds, there might be a silly interruption like the cat or a kid… you might knock heads or trip getting undressed. Sex is funny, foreplay is funny and sometimes you need to just laugh. It will keep things from getting awkward! If you take sex too seriously you aren’t truly enjoying it!
Not to mention a sense of humor can be really sexy no matter what your gender identity is!

this comic is literally my favorite thing on tumblr.

i’ve always said if you can’t laugh with the person you’re having sex with while you’re having sex with them you shouldn’t be having sex with them.

God.
My husband once walked up behind me while i was sitting in the living room just watching t.v…and he put his penis on my shoulder and said “hello..”
THIS WAS HIS SEDUCTION.
THIS WAS HIS IDEA OF HOW TO GET ME INTO BED.
it worked, but not before I laughed for days.

For that last comment.

I always had a ton of weird funky condoms at my place because I volunteered with Planned Parenthood and did a lot of sex education and sex positive work. I literally had no less than like thirty different types of condoms at a time. So when it came time to grabbing a condom it was a grab bag of WHO KNOWS what you’ll end up with.
Long story short, my boyfriend grabs one, puts it on, heat of the moment type thing, a some point we both look down and see it’s an ELECTRIC GREEN condom. Dead pan he looks me straight in the eye and in his best impression goes “HEY HO. KERMIT DEE FROG HERE.” And I COMPLETELY LOST IT.
On a completely different occasion I said “don’t stop” and he sang ALL of Don’t Stop Believing. All of it. All of it. Right then and there. Without stopping.

Can I add the story about how me and one of my partners had a very enthralling discussion about deserts while I was on top of him?
Or the time my partner’s friends blasted “Eye of the Tiger” through the door and we rocked it out to the beat while quoting the movie?

Story time:
I was with this girl during a trip out to Washington, we’d hung out a few times, and hit it off really well. So we got together one afternoon. Her dorm-mate came home, saw the “Do Not Disturb” sock on her bedroom door and called out “Thrusters to full!”
Not missing a beat the girl and I yelled back “We’re giving it all we’ve got, Captain!” and her roommate started fucking dying outside the door.
Probably should have proposed right on the spot, but whatever.

It got better.

gender8end-spider8itch:

saverockandrolloncarinsurance:

mamafrerard:

what if when you smoked, the smoke you blow out is the color of the emotion you are feeling. 

i’m feeling a little gay today

image

its a metaphor

scarlettjane22:

Blondie and the stallion by Gígja Einars.. on Flickr
buttercakesandteacafe:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
pancreass:

lievekofye:

anotherfirebender:

kinderhook-obscure:

shit-justice-warrior:

Why aren’t we doing this in all 50 states??


moving to Iowa

is there a way to petition for this to be a required class for graduating in all 50 states???


Or just globally and universally
death-limes:

I SNORTED
simstuck:

wHEN YOUR READY COME AND GET IT,
sqauts-and-other-stupid-shit:

awwww-cute:

The face she gives me when she wants to get on the couch

Nooo
tavvross:

badhomestuckcosplay:

You know what really annoys me more than anything else?  Bad Homestuck cosplay.  I mean seriously, if you’re going to cosplay a character, at least take the effort not to make it completely half-assed!  Like look at this asshole right here.  This has to be the worst Sollux cosplay I’ve seen in my life.  I’m willing to bet that this guy hasn’t even read Homestuck.  It just pisses me off to no end.

nobody tell him
nonespark:

fucking zooming in on the cats face like “shit i’ve been trapped”
i’m crying
✖✖✖